Six-Room Poetry

The Quiet Place

 

 Bright, balmy

Small waves lapping

When can I return?

 

Serene, playful

Palm fronds rustling

When can I return?

 

 

Sparkly, turquoise

Sand and sky meeting

When can I return?

 

 

Breezy, Whispers

The Heartsong is calling

When can I return

            to that cloudless luminescent shore?

                          Any time you’d like, my child!  

                                             My Peace awaits you there.

 

Writer's Memo: 

We did an activity in  Writer's Workshop this week  involving describing a place via six different rooms.  This is about my place.  It isn't real and I've been dreaming about it for years. It's my proverbial "happy place" where I go when I feel upset, irritated, or unsettled.  I might nap, read, pray, or meditate in that place. I liked the activity and got a lot of additional ideas from it that don't fit in this piece.  I think getting in touch with the senses really helps me to write.  I didn't have big expectations for this poem; it feels like it's important for me to just try it, since I rarely do so. 

I don't think that this poem will make that much sense or be very meaningful to anyone but me, although I did conference with my writing teacher to try and discover whether the snapshots I created helped her to see the place, the peace, and the relaxation in her mind.  It helped me that she asked me probing questions where my pacing was awkward or confusing. 

I really learned that students can get so much benefit from conferring, even on poetry, the most subjective genre of all according to most folks.  If you can tell the writer how it sounds or feels as you read their words it will be very helpful. It wouldn't make them a better writer if the colleague said the poem was bad or good so it's wonderful that we will teach to give solutions, not criticize or judge others in my writing community but to ask clarifying questions.